Bringing God with Us into the New Year

In order for us to bring God with us into the New Year we need to understand who God is in our life right now. Not when we were little…not 2 years ago, but right now. We cannot think about bringing God with us into the New Year until we determine who it is that we are bringing with us.

When you close your eyes and try to imagine Jesus, what does he look like? Take a few minutes and try to really imagine in your mind what Jesus looks like. When you are ready open your eyes.

Was your vision just black? Unable to really pull up a vision of Christ? Or were you able to just make out a figure off in the distance, but it could be anyone since your vision is not clear? Were you able to rid yourself of the darkness and make out a vision of Jesus, but he is so far away that you really can’t get a good look at his features and you really can’t hear his voice? Or is Jesus walking towards you close enough that you can make out what he looks like, what he is wearing, the expression on his face the sound of his voice. You are anxiously waiting until he gets closer to you. Or is Jesus close enough for you to touch him. Close enough that you are able to sit down, face to face, with your eyes locked on each other and your hands clasped together. You can look into his eyes and you can hear his voice and most of all you can feel the love coming off of him? Which Jesus were you able to imagine? Which one do you want to bring with you into the New Year with you? In order for us to bring God with us into the world, we need to have an understanding of who we are bringing.

The world needs God right now…the world needs us right now. We just celebrated the feast of the Epiphany. Jesus was born during a time of great distress. The people were waiting for someone to come and lead them out of the mess that had been created. They needed a Moses to bring them out of slavery and into the promised land. They were waiting for God to answer their prayers. They were waiting for a miracle. Does this sound familiar? Look around at the world and we are also in great distress. The pandemic is continuing on and it does not seem to have any end date in site. People are separated from their loved ones and for many it has been a long time. There are wars, hunger, poverty, uncertainty and so many losing faith, leaving the church, losing site of God. God answered the prayers so long ago. He sent us his son. Those Holy Wise men followed the brightest star they had ever seen, and it led them to the brightest star who would ever live. The King of Kings. The Son of God. They knelt down in front of him, placed gifts at his feet and when they left they brought Jesus with them in their hearts. The story of this visit is a good example for us in how we can bring God with us into the New Year…so again I am going to ask you to close your eyes…and just imagine…

—- Jackie Sullivan

Responsive: The Gift of Attention

The gift of attention is one of the greatest gifts we can offer to another. It says, “You are important to me. I am willing to invest my time, presence, and interest in developing a relationship with you.” Whether romantic, familial, or friendly – all relationships result from the gift of attention.

In the summer of 1985, I met a girl who would become my wife just 15 months later. When I first met her, I noticed her physical beauty, and before long I was overwhelmed by her spiritual beauty. This caused me to become laser focused on one project, I needed to get her attention and give her mine.

There was no shortage of obstacles to this project: we were both dating other people, I was 5 years older than her, I was only going to live in her town for three short months, and I had no idea if she had any interest in me! I decided that my approach to her would involve being responsive – if she showed any interest in me, I would respond immediately and clearly. In her presence I did not daydream or zone out for fear that I would miss an important opportunity. I would give her my attention, in hope of receiving hers.

Someone must make the first move, creating an opportunity for response.  This willingness to show attention even when unsure of the response is an act of hope. It is a little easier when you are responding to someone’s gift of attention because you already know there is some interest, but it can still be an act of courage to return the gift. When two people give the gift of attention, something new enters the world – a relationship between people who are interested in each other. These are wonderful moments; all is right with the world!

One sad truth of long-term relationships is that the initial spark and interest that created them often gets lost in the daily demands of living. You can literally wake up one day and wonder if your loved one is going to pay any attention to you today. John Gottman, the marriage researcher, uses the term “bids” to describe efforts by people to gain the attention of the other. People who discover themselves to be “unnoticed,” long for the attention they once received, yet are uncertain about their ability to attract it. Very often they send out “bids” – little acts of interest or attention – seeking to gain a response of attention from their loved one. Sometimes these bids are so subtle that they are easily ignored. However, they are never ignored by the sender, because the bid represents their desire for renewed attention. A missed bid by the one who failed to notice it may seem like a small thing; but it is a big deal to the person who sent out the bid in hope of a loving response.

Both relationally and spiritually, we are in great danger of walking through life almost totally unresponsive. We get so wrapped up in selfish pursuits, the daily grind of life, or even just habitual paths, that we miss most of the bids that come our way. Our attention is blunted, and people are hurt.

Imagine what your life could look like if you became sensitive to the “bids” you encounter daily. The ritual kiss you give when walking out the door could turn into a real kiss – an invitation to complete your activity away from home so you can return as soon as possible! The casual “How was your day?” might be an invitation to return to a state of intimacy! Even something as slight as a subtle smile or a fleeting light touch may be an opportunity to open a door long closed. But only if you pick up on the bid and answer it with responsiveness.   

It took some risk to begin your relationship, it will also take some risk to sustain it. In these times of great stress and mounting losses do not let your relationships be counted among the things that have suffered. Make plenty of bids for the attention of the people you love. Pay close attention to the bids that come your way. Take the risk. Live responsively.

- Kenny Payne