How to Receive Spiritual Direction

By Kenny Payne

Receiving spiritual direction that transforms your life is not a passive process; it requires your active and intentional participation. Transformation occurs through God's grace, but it requires a heart that is prepared and willing to engage fully with the process. 

Your participation is crucial for growth. Here are some key elements: 

Honesty with Self

This is the foundation of the relationship, both with God and with your spiritual director. Honesty involves being willing to confront your motivations, doubts, and struggles without pretense. It is a necessary vulnerability that allows the Holy Spirit to work in new ways in your life. 

You must be willing to bring your authentic self—not the curated, false-self many try to present to the world. God does not meet with your false-self because God only responds to reality! Don’t be afraid to bring your true self to spiritual direction, the spiritual director is a safe companion, not a judge. 

• Action: Practice self-examination (examen) and reflection daily to become aware of your inner dynamics. Be transparent about where you feel close to God and where you feel distant.

 "What we need to do is bring the director into contact with our real self, as best we can, and not fear to let him see what is false in our false self… We must let the director know what we really think, what we really feel, and what we really desire, even when these things are not altogether honorable…" 

— Thomas Merton

Commitment to the Process

Spiritual direction is not a quick fix but a long-term practice of spiritual formation. It requires dedication to regularly meeting with your director and engaging in prayerful work between sessions. 

Spiritual growth is a journey, not a single event. Transformative direction requires your consistent engagement over time, even when the process feels slow or challenging. Like a growing seed and then plant – there is much happening even when you cannot see the progress.

• Action: Commit to regular meetings (usually monthly) and make time for prayerful preparation before each session. Stick with the process through seasons of spiritual dryness or busyness.

"A spiritual life cannot be formed without discipline, practice, and accountability."

— Henri J.M. Nouwen

Openness to Growth

For spiritual direction to be effective you must have a willingness to be changed and challenged by God. This means being receptive to what God may be revealing to you through your director, even if it is uncomfortable. 

To explore new spiritual disciplines, and to let go of old patterns of thinking or behaving that are no longer fruitful you must welcome change and growth. The New Testament uses language of the old person and the new person to describe this process. Like all growth, this commitment produces growing pains, but in the end the growth is worth the struggle!  

• Action: Be willing to try new forms of prayer or spiritual practices (like solitude, silence, or lectio divina) as discerned with your director. Be open to hearing God in unexpected ways.

"Spiritual growth depends on two things: first a willingness to live according to the Word of God; second, a willingness to take whatever consequences emerge as a result."

— Sinclair B. Ferguson

Responsibility for Follow-Through

You are ultimately responsible for the actions and spiritual practices you choose to practice in your daily life. The spiritual director does not give orders, but rather listens and helps you discern God's direction. 

The real work happens between sessions through prayer, reflection, and intentional action. You must act upon those discernments, making the direction a living reality in your life. By embracing these attitudes, you create a fertile ground for the Holy Spirit—the true Director—to guide you toward a deeper, more intimate relationship with God and a genuinely transformed life. 

• Action: Finish each session with a clear "take-away" or area of work/discernment to focus on. Review your progress (or lack thereof) at the start of the next session.

"The spiritual director is one who helps another to recognize and to follow the inspirations of

grace in their life, in order to arrive at the end to which God is leading them." 

— Thomas Merton

Imaginative Contemplation of the Presentation

I’ve gone to the temple to beg for alms. I’m ten years old and this is my job. My family is poor, and I have 5 younger brothers and sisters, and they are hungry. There are throngs of people here coming to offer sacrifice and to tithe. There are moneychangers and people selling animals for sacrifice. There are so many people, but no one really sees me and my begging bowl, or at least they don’t pay attention to me. I know I am not lovely. I have long stringy dark hair and dirty clothes and a snotty nose. I probably smell bad. People walk past and if they even notice me, they quickly avert their eyes.

Then a couple walks into the temple area. They are carrying their baby and a little wicker cage with two pigeons in it. They are poor too. But something arrests me about them. It is almost as if they glow with joy. Their clothes aren’t fancy, and they don’t put a lot of money in the treasury, yet they exude happiness. I am intrigued by them and instinctively I follow them. They move toward the priests to offer their sacrifice in honor of their first-born son but there is a line.

I watch them from a distance. The lady is beautiful, and she is holding a baby who can’t be more than a few months old. He is asleep in her arms. Her husband watches over them. You can tell he is strong and protective but also tender and loving. There is something about this family that attracts me – especially the baby. I would love to hold that baby in my arms.

The lady looks up and sees me watching them – I’m probably staring which I know I shouldn’t do but I can’t help it. She smiles at me and beckons me to come closer. I do. She asks me my name, and I tell her. Then she tells me her name is Miriam, and her husband is Joseph and their baby is Yeshua. We chat for awhile and then the baby wakes up and starts to fuss, nuzzling at Miriam’s breast. She says, “Come keep me company while I feed him.”

We sit down on a bench in the shade of a tree. She invites me to snuggle into her side. Then she asks me to tell her about myself. She is so gentle and sincere, I sense she really wants to know about me, so I tell her. I tell her about my parents and siblings, about school and the other kids, I tell her what I worry about and what makes me happy. She listens, really listens and I feel an unusual sensation – peace?

Soon Yeshua is done feeding and returns to sleep and Miriam and I return to Joseph in the line. When we reach the priest, the birds are handed over and Yeshua is blessed. I feel so grateful to be here. Although I don’t understand it, I begin a prayer, “Hail Mary, full of grace…”

-Suanne Reed

A Concert of the Earth: Solitude and Connection

I desire to spend my birthdays with my maker in a retreat. However, I could not go this year as my mother has a new helper. Reminiscing about my retreat in Peter Canisius House in Pymble, New South Wales, Australia, last year, I found this prose.  

Peter Canisius House, Pymble, NSW, Australia

A Concert of the Earth

As the sun dips below the horizon, casting a warm glow across the landscape, the birds offer their final chirps and tweets of the day. Sensing the arrival of night, the crickets begin their melodic serenade, their rhythmic chirping calling for a mate. Amid the howling and whispering of the wind, the voices of the birds create a symphony of nature—unorchestrated and yet harmonious in its dynamic flow.

The leaves sway on the trees, and the vibrant flowers sprouting from the bushes join in, dancing in response to the urges of the wind. Together with the music of nature, these dancers form a concert of the earth, one that requires no conductor yet resonates deeply within the soul.

Solitude Amidst the Symphony

Nature offers me both comfort and company. The cool breeze caresses my skin and gently nudges my awareness of the presence that surrounds me. Though I find myself in solitude, I am never truly alone.

Have I ever been alone?

Not when I set aside my fears and conditioned thoughts. Not when I tune my senses to the sights, sounds, and textures of the world around me. Not when I remain present, fully aware of the awe and beauty that nature reveals.

Breaking the Illusion of Aloneness

My ego and blindness create the illusion of isolation, trapping me in the false notion of aloneness. When I banish these barriers, the truth reveals itself. 

How can I ever be alone when I immerse myself in the fellowship of God’s creation? The rustling leaves, the whispering winds, and the vibrant life surrounding me speak of connection and belonging.

A Spiritual Fellowship

This divine symphony reminds me that I belong to something far greater than myself. In the harmony of nature, I find a reflection of God’s handiwork, of which I am a part. It whispers that I have never been alone and never will be. When I quiet my mind and open my heart, I find an invitation to embrace my surroundings with gratitude and awe. I realise that solitude is not aloneness or emptiness; instead, it is communion. 

So here I sit, enveloped by the concert of the earth, a willing participant in this fellowship of creation. In communion with nature, I am reminded of an eternal truth: I am surrounded. I am connected. I am loved. 

Kelly Tan

Peter Canisius House, Pymble, NSW Australia