Tending our Inner Rooms

I was thinking this morning about another difference between spiritual direction and therapy or coaching. The Tetlow/Ackels 12 week guide to the spiritual exercises begins by reminding the pilgrim that "St. Catherine of Siena wrote that there is a room in each one's heart where no man, no woman, no devil, no angel can go." Many of us think of that as the inside room of the heart -- but as I was reading, I started wondering what that space really looks like? Can you close your eyes and envision that sacred space in your own life? Where is the space that is only for you and all that is Holy?

So true confession -- when I first did the spiritual exercises, I had a pretty awesome space that I imagined for this -- it was out in the desert, a bit of hut, fire burning, door open -- safe but permeable. Good spiritual director stuff.

What did I see when I closed my eyes this morning? Maybe an industrial sort of storage space -- empty except for a few boxes. Yikes! The insight for me was that the "front room" of my life is beginning to infect that private space -- the crushing dailyness and overwork -- time to redecorate -- or at least get better lighting.

Therapy and coaching are more about the rooms of our life that others come in and out of -- where one can have goals, or unwanted visitors, or just need a good lock for some of the doors :). Spiritual direction is about tending that private space, where our deepest desires are housed -- where we connect with what is most true and sacred. This morning, take a few minutes and imagine that space -- be honest. Even florescent lighting in the God space can be the exact invitation one needs to change.

—Alison Umminger Mattison

Gardening

GARDENING

Spring is coming right now in the part of Sweden where I live. This means of lot of work both outside in the garden and inside with potted plants. Everywhere there is a need for new soil that helps the plants to survive and grow.

To me, it is a kind of meditation to take care of the garden waste from the last season and to give room for this season. When I am working on, two things come across my mind. The first is something that the apostle Paul says, when he uses the image of plants talking about Christian cooperation. We can do a lot of things for one another just like when we are working with the bushes and the plants, but it is God that brings the life. In that sense we are only servants, not more but not less either.

And that brings another thought in my meditation.

Just like my tending to the bushes and the potted plants, I need to look inside my heart to sort out things that I can leave behind. What do I need forgiveness or reconciliation for and what do I just have to let go. And further on, to discern Gods future, for me and the service that is my call in life now.

I would like to encourage you too: give a little time this spring to discern how your way forward looks like.

— Hillevi Bergvall

A Lenten Reflection for Ash Wednesday -- Dream "Hangovers"

DREAM HANGOVERS

Even for those unfamiliar with St. Ignatius of Loyola, the story of his dream life going "off the rails" resonates. Ignatius, a soldier who dreamt of being the GREATEST soldier/ladies man, had his dreams crushed when his leg was shattered by a cannonball in combat. Confined to his bed and stuck with the only reading in the house (religious literature--not his jam), he began, instead, to dream of a life of service.

This might be a pious little tale, except that Ignatius came to this conclusion after letting himself feel the aftereffects of his old dreams. Achieving fame, fortune, and romance, left him feeling empty. The chance to help and serve others left him with a different kind of feeling -- one of felt peace and consolation. He sat in bed long enought to REALLY notice how he felt. Yikes!

How many of us have gained something only to feel empty afterwards? Sitting with the "hangover" of achievement invites us to engage more deeply with our desires -- both positive and negative. Those desires that leave us with a kind of soft quietude are often a map to our true vocation in this world. The actions we take that leave us feeling peaceful and connected are the ones pointing to our deepest vocational call.

As the season of Lent begins, a season that calls pilgrims to "change the direction we look for happiness" (my favorite definition of repentance), take a while to look at the dreams you have achieved in your life, or those you hope to achieve. How did they leave you feeling? Sit with that, even if it's uncomfortable. Think about the last time you felt deep peace and connection. What had you been doing? What voice had you been following?

Even if Ash Wednesday is not part of your faith path, think of it as a time for pause, a time to remember that we, too, are passing. What is our work to do? Are we doing it? What will increase peace and connection both in our lives and in our worlds? Discomfort is not a bad thing -- and in fact, it can be incredibly useful.

For a Lenten challenge, take twenty minutes today in silence and really listen to your life. What do you hear?

— Alison Umminger Mattison