To Much Consolation can lead to .... Desolation

           In St. Ignatius’s rules for discernment, the pilgrim is warned that too much of a good thing, even spiritual work, often leads to desolation.  This is one of those rules that’s easy to understand on paper, but harder to put into practice.  Personally, I have a bad a habit of wanting to add some shiny, new, and DEFINITELY “good” thing to my plate when I’m bored, or tired, or just plain over the tedium of what’s in front of me.  At other times, the pace and challenge of daily life, the American cult of business and productivity, can make an underfilled plate look a bit… well, sad.  What’s a spiritual director with only a few directees?  Or a blogger who only posts every once in a while?  Or a mom whose kid is only in one activity at a time? 

Saner?  More able to focus?   Dare I say, happier?

            I came face to face with a massive “too-much-of-a-good-thing” crash this summer.  Between parenting, finishing my spiritual direction degree, teaching full time, and trying to a “good wife/mom/Sunday School teacher/spiritual director/daughter/scholar” I pretty much wanted to get in the next car, start driving, and maybe stop when I ran out of money.    Everything that I normally enjoyed doing felt like swimming against some massive current, dragging me further from where I thought I’d been going. 

 I’m going to say that I don’t need a spiritual director to tell me that state of mind is NOT God’s dream for me or my life.  What I heard God saying loud and clear was something like, STOP, take a deep breath, and don’t EVER let yourself get this tired again.  I heard Jesus saying, “I will give you rest,” not, “Look, here’s another retreat you might develop.”

            There’s no shorter ticket to desolation, that feeling of spiritual malaise and distance from our true Source, than fatigue and overwork.  And yet so many of us say yes to things based solely on their potential goodness.  If teaching catechesis is great on Sunday, what’s so bad about adding in Wednesday, until our schedules are a block of text and our hearts are the anemic engine that powers this frenetic do-ing. 

            As I get ready to start another school year, I’ve been trying to take forward the lessons of this Summer.  The first is to honor the Sabbath, not just by going to church (where, yes, I do teach Sunday School), but to create a real space of rest in every week.  I wonder why this isn’t a commandment that we take a seriously as, say, “thou shall not kill.”  Maybe it’s because the the Sabbath honors life in a different way – by letting it be.  By asking us to pause, and breathe, and know that God’s got this. 

            This week, take a look at your schedule – or how you spend your time?  Is there a space where you let yourself waste time with God?  Where you could do one thing fewer and give yourself the space to be?  To rest?  To take a walk, or watch the skies, and listen to where in life God is really calling you?

— Alison Umminger Mattison

Show Your Wounds

Recently I was listening to “The Consolation of Philosophy” by Boethius when this quote caught my attention – “If you seek the physician’s help, you must show your wounds.” This is such a simple and obvious truth, but if you think about it, you will notice that it is easier to understand than to practice.

Now I am not talking about physical wounds. Obviously if you go to the doctor to treat a physical wound, you do not hesitate to show your wound. But our emotional and spiritual wounds are much harder to deal with. These unseen wounds quickly surround themselves with shame and sometimes guilt. Perhaps we accept conventional wisdom like “Time heals all wounds” or “Out of sight, out of mind.” But time alone does not heal our wounds, and just because we are not intentionally focused on something does not mean that it is not affecting us. The truth is that until we show our wounds, allowing them to be cleansed and dressed, there is little hope for healing. Unattended wounds fester and become life threatening.

To be healed we must first be honest about our wounds. We must correctly name them. We must bring them out in the open in order to treat them. This demands trust. It is not wise to show your wounds to just anyone who happens to be around you. Rather you need to find someone who is willing and able to help you.

Willing and able reminds me of a story from the life of Jesus. Once a man who had leprosy came to Jesus for healing. Showing Jesus his wounds he said, “If you are willing, you can make me clean.” He had great faith in Jesus’ ability to heal, and great hope that Jesus wanted to heal him. His faith and hope were well placed, for Jesus said, “I am willing. Be clean!”

Jesus always stands ready to heal. We must summon the courage to show our wounds so that they can be made whole. Finding someone who cares about our healing and growth is a great start to dealing with our hidden wounds. If you are suffering from unhealed wounds, I hope that you will have the courage and faith to show them so that you can be healed.

- Kenny Payne